findmywhy

The title above, 2020 Vision, is probably going to be a well worn ‘cliche’ by the New Year. As 2019 passes and we face into 2020, some of us contemplate the chance to make some real positive change in our lives (if, of course we can persuade our ‘protective’ thoughts that we are ready to make that leap, change, decision.) A recent post may help you here

In 2019 I continued to post ( this will be my 9th. in 2019) but did not annoy you all with emails about the posts. If you want you can follow the blog and new posts will be automatically communicated to you. If you are an accidental ‘Blog’ reader then wait for my email’s which is perfectly OK.

Well it’s a Sunday morning, 15th. December and here in Carrigaline, Co.Cork, Ireland it’s a very dark (for 9 am), cold, very rainy, sleety, winter morning.  The Christmas tree lights add a welcome splash of colour to these mornings. Christmas beckons. So does the Solstice. 

Taken at 0900 Sunday 15th. December 2019.

Solstice comes from the Latin word solstitium, meaning sun standing still. ( I’m one of the few eejits who did ‘Latin’ in secondary school. Another blog). Our modern calendar is slightly out of synch with the solar year, so although we celebrate the shortest day of the year on 21st. Dec it can actually occur any day between Dec. 20th, and 23rd., but most often it is the Dec. 21st. or 22nd.

Through history, this period has been celebrated by many cultures. Norsemen worshipped the Sun as the wheel that changed the seasons. During the Feast of Juul (from which we get the term Yule), people lit fires to symbolise the heat and light of the returning sun and a Yule log was brought into the hearth to conquer the darkness, banish evil spirits and bring luck to the coming year. This, and many related traditions of decorating evergreen trees with colour (Estonia, Latvia) and then those trees into the house, (Germany aristocracy) and lighting them with candles. A relatively new tradition , 1850-1899. Their relatives in the UK, the royal family followed the tradition and it spread quickly in UK and globally. The Solstice for me is the very welcome  climb back towards the long days of spring / summer and a swim in Kilkee. I am not alone in struggling through Irish winters. Remedy, moving.

Keep Moving – get out for a walk.

Not a very flattering selfie and also being soaked to the skin, temp 4 deg, did not help. But the great bonus is that I came across a small piece of lovely holly with berries. 99% of the holly on this Carrigaline / Crosshaven walk is berry-less. The greatest benefit / bonus is the well-being boost that you get from the simplest activity, walking. I do try and avoid the rain but sometimes…. it’s Ireland after all and it did bucket down this morning.  Christmas is a beautiful time and we should enjoy it, but for many it will not be the most wonderful time of the year. I’m not going to put a damper on anyone’s Christmas spirit, but say a quiet prayer for the people who struggle at this time of year, for many reasons.

To our families everywhere, you are in our hearts, thoughts and minds this Christmas.

A short few days to go to Christmas. Get the tree up and get the Christmas spirits rising. I adore this special feelgood season (while dealing with the chronic heartache for those I miss so very much). It come at the end of two tough months of October and November. Somehow I can manage January and February which many more find the bleakest of months. Just managed to get the Christmas cards written and now off to the post box.

Let me introduce two very special people.

The Roars, (aka Rory Benson Draper), resident of Sydney, NSW, Australia ( appeared briefly, at the very end of above video en-route home from Malabar beach. Visited us in October with his beautiful Mum, Elaine

And I hope it happens that I get to meet and greet some recipients of my Christmas blog. It’s been a while and also I’ll have, please God, the little bundle below from another beautiful Mum-to-be, Louise. In the meantime I’ll whisper a quiet prayer for you all this Christmas.  Happy Christmas.

And finally a great Christmas Story from Sunday Miscellany, RTÉ Radio 1, Sundays 9.10 – 10am (enjoy)

https://www.rte.ie/culture/2019/1213/1099034-listen-tins-a-hilarious-christmas-tale-from-paul-howard/

Thank you Carl Gilbertson. The gesture speaks for itself.

For his 10th. Wedding Anniversary he really showed how much he loved his beautiful wife, Laura

“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part..”

Mel Robbins is interviewed here for 15 minutes. It is worth a listen. The techniques may not be to your liking but Mel captures the human condition that every (and I mean EVERY) individual must master, manage and navigate every waking moment. (The Skill)

Yes, even Mr. and Mrs Confident sitting next to you or across from you. Have a listen.

Holding Space

A vector illustration of two girls camping in the wilderness

This article captures on of the most important virtues of us Human Beings. Listening and being there for our fellow man, woman, child. Hold That Space

Today, millions of young people marched in cities and towns across this fragile world to demand that Governments really take this Global Warming Crisis seriously.

Every morning as I drop my daughter off at her workplace I see thousands of cars with single occupants driving to the industrial area where my daughter works. Fossil fuel cars moving tons of metal to get a 15 stone person to work. Such a horrible waste of precious resources. Such terrible pollution from a horribly inefficient transportation system. One train track would do. A free bus system would park those cars. Our government would not have the tax revenue from fossil fuels, road tax, etc. Will they act.

And yet our fragile little Earth is precariously at risk and the future for those young people who marched today is at such risk.

And our Earth is so alone in our Solar System. We have nothing to fall back on.

Look and see.

A young woman’s heartbreaking letter of advice has been shared online by family hours after cancer took her life. Read it below:

It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

1) Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

2) Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

3) You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

4) I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

5) Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

6) Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

7) Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

8) Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

9) It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

10) Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

11) This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

12) Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

13) Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

14) Get amongst nature.

15) Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

16) Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

17) Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

18) Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

19) Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

20) Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

21) Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

22) Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

23) Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

24) Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

25) Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

26) Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

(Holly wanted her message spread, so I’ve just respected her wishes. May she rest in peace and may her words move you towards something special in this life. Garry)

Morning, not usual for me to blog mid-summer but this one is worth it. I’m lucky to have found meditation 40 years ago (TM) and an amazing Mindfulness Teacher (Catherine Sutton) about seven years ago (around the same time that Bressie did (The subject of this blog).  Phew, that was a mouthfull. There are links throughout this article and you will have to trust me, they are worth the read. (and I have checked them, their perfectly good and safe links)

I hope summer 2019 is going OK for you. This morning, we have rain here in Southern Ireland. I expected some headlines that farmers were found dancing naked in the fields as rain has arrived. Even this morning the radio had a ‘Conserve Water’ piece. In other words we have had a relatively dry summer this year.  One side of the economy jumps for joy at these warm dry summers while for others it brings real serious challenges.

Certainly I have never witnessed such crowds in Kilkee, West Clare as I did last weekend. It was beautifully warm, there was a fantastic festival with fireworks display on for the weekend and a safe Blue Flag beach was a magnet for umpteen thousands.

To the point of this small blog. I was listening to the Marian Finucane show on Saturday morning and I heard Bressie talk about his new Podcast. It was an amazing interview and the more I hear from Bressie (aka Niall Breslin) the more I am impressed. His interview with Marian was articulate and to the point and I’ve listened to his first Podcast and I do think everybody should have the opportunity to listen to Bressie’s insightful ‘mental wellbeing’ message.

Take care, and comment if you want but more importantly share with those you care for. Garry

https://www.niallbreslin.com/podcast

The sixtieth milestone.

Charles Dickens’s book A Christmas Carol is generally accepted to have been the catalyst to the popularising of Christmas to the masses. The London Times for December 25th. 1843 had not one mention of the word ‘Christmas’, not a single mention. In 1843 Christmas was not celebrated widely. The very wealthy, including some royals, did carry out some German traditions of dressing up a Christmas tree (They were of German heritage after all).  Charles Dickens was a celebrity author at the time having had success with earlier novels The Pickwick Papers, Oliver etc. and his middle class outlook aspired to what the upper class were doing and their Christmas celebrations. Charles wrote his novella in six weeks and it was printed and hand coloured and it’s first edition of 6000 was a sell-out.  The book was essentially a tale of ‘redemption’ and a second chance for Ebenezer Scrooge   

Dickens also saw the wretched poverty around him in London and stitched this into his story. He wanted to make sure the reader saw the virtue of generosity. For all of his human flaws Charles Dickens saw the joy of giving to those in need at Christmas.

This best seller is credited with the Christmas we all now enjoy.

Sincerest best wishes to all of you this Christmas. As with all of my blogs there will be links back to related pieces. In this particular post there are many links (indicated by lines under words). Have a wonderful, restful and healing Christmas. Make the most of the Magic.

I swear I blinked and 2018 just passed in a flash. Although a year of incredible high’s and a few low’s it still passed numbingly fast. So we are nearly at the Christmas dinner table, which of course is the joy of the year for most. Many also have a gnawing ache in their heart at this time of year. It is a time of reflection, memories and emotions. However I’ll endeavour to keep this blog as upbeat as possible in keeping with the time of year.

Well, the reason 2018 disappeared in a complete blur was probably down to the little Santa above. Mr Rory Benson Draper, my one and only grandchild visited this side of the globe. To say he filled every waking hour was an understatement. He arose a 6 am, ravenous and went like the clappers until 7/8 pm. Sweet lord he has energy and his hungry mind needs constant stimulus.  Exhausting but so full of life, it is unmissable.

He’s only just out of hospital this week in Sydney and this little video will give you some appreciation of his get-up-and-go.

From driving snow and ‘Brennan’s’ sliced pan frenzy to the longest dry spell in Ireland’s history we have had a really eventful year on this little green isle. The beast from the east dumped more snow than we had seen in a long, long time. It was both scary and fun at the same time, but we Irish made the best of it. There was a lot of snow in Irish terms.

The summer of 2018 was dry, very dry, but as luck would have it the rain arrived for my daughters visit from Sydney and her few days in Kilkee were a wash out. However from early June we enjoyed a spell of warm dry and very pleasant weather which went on and on and on and on. It was a joy (now the farmers might not agree, grass growth stopped, hose pipe bans throughout the country, crop yields seriously impacted). However we spent the first half of the year in anticipation of a gathering of our family from around the globe to celebrate a significant birthday for a significant lady. Saturday 18th. August 2018.  It was such an unbelievable occasion to have everyone together again after many years.

My summer was filled with the music of Moana as little fella would only sit quietly to get breakfast into him while this movie was playing on the TV. Turns out to be a great animated movie.

2019 New Years Resolutions – A year of action

Finally, President Trump does not believe in it. However the recent UN report has issued DIRE warnings. We have to act. We have to raise our voices. Our snow in March, our drought  over the summer are all due to OUR impact on the earth. Speak to your local representatives, and act. Every little bit will help. This short 6 minute video from Australian public broadcasting service reminds us of a year or serious weather. We all have to ACT in 2019.

100 Ways to reverse Global Warming

Oh! one more thing, so finally, finally. Friday 3rd. May 2019 I’m going to be having a few pints in a certain pub in Kilkee, Co.Clare to celebrate my sort of coming of age. If you are nearby, or in need of a west Clare fill-up after the Irish winter and spring, sure it would be great to wet the whistle. And if you are not then rest assured I will be in that certain establishment most Friday and Saturday nights between May and September 2019, God willing and I’d be delighted with your company. I had a few ‘Stents‘ inserted into the ticker in October so I reckon I should celebrate every birthday with those around me who mean an awful lot in my life. And with that……

Happy Christmas and may 2019 bring you health, healing and happiness.