findmywhy

Only one entry in this diary folks and it’s basically our warmest and sincerest best wishes to you all for 2014.

All alive and well here in Carrigaline, another gale last night, all in all the weather has been pretty miserable for the Christmas break. (Mind you we are having a whale of a time compared to parts of the UK, USA and Canada and some parts of our own little Island have been without power for days now)

2014 approaches rapidly and the usual ‘palaver’ of ‘Happy New Year’ and ‘Auld Lang Syne’. I’m not a big fan of this particular celebration, mind you some would mumble ‘Bah Humbug’ when around me at the Christmas also. The fact is, I truly love the Christmas but the excess that goes along with it I could do without.

The irony is that I’ve spent my Christmas break reading a lot as I got some especially thoughtful books as presents from the wonderful women in my life. So to you my very special ladies I thank you sincerely. One of the books that I got for Christmas is ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom who I have always liked as an author. I’ve read quite a few of his books and this book also delivers a particularly powerful message.

I’m not going to spoil the book for anyone but the story is about a man who was punished for measuring God’s greatest gift: Time. And to free himself he had to teach two people the true meaning of time.

Two particular passages I like in the book are as follows.

1. ‘There is a reason why God limits our days. To make each one precious’ and

    2.     Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creatures endures. A fear of time running out.

Instead of the constant worry, clock watching and being so busy that life passes us by and so much precious time is wasted. Why not make 2014 the year that we all draw breath and savour the minutes, hours , days and weeks that we have.

In 2013, I attended ‘mindfulness’ classes that were held in work during our lunchtimes (organised by our kind and enlightened Occupational Health Nurse) and I recommend it highly. It will teach you the importance of savouring the ‘Now’ and pausing, resting, call it what you like, our very overworked and stressed out minds.

If you have an enlightened employer who would allow such a class during lunch, (and see the huge benefit to their employees) better still get them to consider contributing towards the small costs then get organising or if you spot a class for it in the next semester of ‘Adult Education’ classes in your locality take the opportunity. You won’t regret it I promise you. Practicing it on a regular basis will take determination however.

So, we come to the end of 2013, and not a minute too soon I hear some of you say, and start the New Year with a plethora of resolutions, dreams and wishes. I wish all of you luck with them, January can be the toughest of months. However, if you fail sometimes, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again. Enjoy being human, protect the precious gift of time you have been given and smile.

Smile as much as you can.

“A SMILE FOR YOU!”

Smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin, When he smiled I realised I’d passed it on to him. I thought about that smile then I realised it’s worth, A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth. So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected. Let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!!

Corny I know, but you get my meaning!!

 The quite short guide to mindfulness
by Padraig O’Morain

Mindfulness is a very old technique which is becoming increasingly popular at the present time. Although it is linked to Buddhism, most of the people who use mindfulness in the West today are not Buddhists. People use mindfulness because they find it reduces stress and gives them a greater sense of control over their lives. Mindfulness helps people to get more enjoyment out of their good times and to handle their bad times better. 

You can read this document in a couple of minutes. Practising takes a little longer. The good news, though, is that you can begin to use mindfulness straightaway.

What is mindfulness? 

At its simplest, mindfulness means being aware of what you are doing while you are doing it. This means being aware that you are breathing, walking, driving, running making a phone call, cooking a meal and so on. When you have thoughts, notice that you have thoughts and come back to awareness of what you are actually doing. When you are emotional just notice the emotion – not trying to deepen it and not trying to push it away – and come back to awareness of what you are doing.

Is mindfulness the same as living in the now? 

Yes. When you practice mindfulness, you gently bring yourself back into the present moment every time you notice that you have drifted in your mind back to the past or into the future. Also, you gently bring yourself back to the present moment whenever you realise that you have drifted off into your imagination. The word “gently” is important. Never, ever scold yourself for drifting away from awareness. Drifting is what minds do. Accept this fact and take your awareness back to the present moment.

Can I still plan and think about things I need to think about? 

Yes. In fact mindfulness can be really helpful in planning because it can reduce the chances that you will get lost in a fantasy. You can plan mindfully by being aware that you are planning and by bringing your mind back to what you are doing whenever it drifts off.

Are there some quick exercises I can do to help me to cultivate mindfulness? 

Yes. Here are three:

1. Get in touch with your senses. Notice the temperature of your skin. Notice that you are breathing in and out. Notice background sounds around you. Notice your breathing again. 

2. Just notice your breathing. Just notice that you are breathing in and out. Notice the in-breath and the out-breath. When thoughts come into your mind just return to your breathing. Do not get involved with them. Simply go back to noticing your breathing in and out. 

3. Create mindfulness triggers. Pick some everyday things that you do routinely. Decide that whenever you do them you will be mindful and will be aware that you are doing them. Examples are: using the telephone, going up or down stairs or steps, arranging your desk or other workspace, tidying, washing up, taking a shower. 

Are there other more intensive exercises I can do? 

Yes. If you want to cultivate mindfulness more seriously, try one of these: 

Awareness of breathing. Sit still. Notice that you are breathing in and out. Notice the in-breath and the out-breath. If you are breathing through your nose, notice the air is colder when entering your nose than when leaving. When thoughts come into your mind just let them float on by. Do not get involved with them. If you like you can just label your thoughts: when you get a thought, just say to yourself “thinking”. Then simply go back to noticing your breathing in and out. If you like, you can count your breaths, counting from 1 to 10 and then back to 1 again. If you feel uncomfortable in your body, simply take your awareness back your breathing. If you feel pain, simply take your awareness back to your breathing. Do this for 5-20 minutes, once or twice a day.

Awareness of walking. Walk along slowly. Notice the feeling of the ground against your feet. Notice your breathing as you walk. Walk in a straight line or a circle or up and down in some place where you will not be interrupted. Again, when thoughts come into your mind just let them float on by. Do not get involved with them. If you like you can just label your thoughts: when you get a thought, just say to yourself “thought”. When you drift into your imagination bring your mind back to your walking. Do not look at your watch too often. Just be aware that you are walking, of the feel of walking and of your breathing. Do this for 20 minutes once or twice a day. 

When do I start?

Right now! Mindfulness and its benefits are available to you whenever you decide to practice awareness. Enjoy it.

Dec 26th. 2013, 2.11 pm
Afternoon all, yes afternoon. Did get up early but decided to get out and enjoy the beautiful crisp frosty morning. Took the camera along and got a few photographs. Will post them later on Facebook. Lots of traffic this morning heading for town to the Sales, lots of bargains ? I wonder.
The Wren.
The wren, the wren, the king of all birds,
On St. Stephen’s Day was caught in the furze;
Up with the kettle and down with the pan,
Pray give us a penny to bury the wran.”
(Traditional Irish Wren song)
Irish tradition holds that the wren symbolises the old year, while the robin symbolizes the year to come. To ensure that the passage from old year to new could take place, it was once common practice on St. Stephen’s Day (December 26) for a group of local boys to hunt and kill a wren. This band of so-called Wren Boys, usually costumed and often masked, would then travel from house to house carrying the wren in a small box or casket (other sources say the wren was tied to a pole and decked with ribbons). The regaled each house with musical laments for the unfortunate bird along with pleas to raise money for the funeral.
The next phase of the Christmas festival are the Sale’s and the off-loading of all that was not sold in the rush up to the big day. So much for the ritual of this special season.

Nice Christmas surprise on a frosty morning.

Actually, radio is really interesting this morning with Joe Duffy , with ‘Legacies’ a look back at 2013 and those of us who have gone onto bigger and better things (depending on your point of view).
Quiet a lot in fact, our Nobel Laureate, Poet Seamus Heaney, Bernie Nolan of the Nolan Sister’s fame, Lou Reed, Perfect Day, went his way recently after a rip roaring ride on this side of the universe.
Christmas Cracker Joke: How do you get down from an Elephant?? (Answer below)
The next few days will be the time to really relax and regenerate before we go back to the routine of our lives, work, be it inside or outside the home, money worries, car insurance, new tyres for the car, etc. So get serious about soaking up the Zzzzzzz and chilling.
New Year’s resolutions which usually don’t last a long time for the most part, we just aspire to do things differently and do our very best. There is always next year.
Let’s hope our friends in Met Eíreann are being over cautious with the Code Red for the next 24 hours. Who needs news of ‘Storm Damage’ in the morning! Jasus.
Answer: You don’t, you get it from a duck.

Dec 25^th. 2013, 8.14 am

It’s a crisp frosty morning here at home and no doubt there are a lot of people up and busy with the Christmas Day preparations. There are many meanings to Christmas and whatever yours is may you have a great day.

Pause for breath this morning and do two things, give yourself a pat on the back for the year behind you, for coping, for the highlights, the not so highlights and for the people you met and maybe helped along the way, and secondly enjoy the ‘ritual’ and mystery of Christmas no matter where you are. Rituals are very important to everybody, be you on your own, or surrounded by family and friends. They build the memories that bind us and sustain us through a hell of a lot on life’s journey.

Put a welcoming light in your window

The Candle is lit and on the window. I understand it’s traditions lie in a light to guide the Holy Family who found no room at the inn in Bethlehem and also a token of welcome to deceased members of the family believed to return to their home at this time of year and to absent members of the family who may have emigrated.

Anyway it’s just a simple tradition we observe without thinking too much about it. Don’t mean or want to be maudlin as they say.. I was about to say that the wind and rain have stopped but I’m glad I didn’t as I can hear it loud and clear outside right now. I’m even open to the idea that we might have snow. It’s that type of cold at the moment. We will wait and see.

For a lot of my family Christmas eve is well under way in their part of the world, for some its 8.30pm (and my niece is being tucked up in bed in New Zealand awaiting the arrival of Santa) and for the gang in OZ and Singapore they are planning their evening (Which I must point out is certainly including which the vigil mass they will attend, aka mid-night mass isn’t that right lads? J)

For most of us I hope the check list is complete at this stage, turkey, check, ham, check, potatoes, check, brussels, check, trifle made, check, etc, etc. or whatever checklist you have for Christmas. (and that includes none, if that floats your boat)

So, my Christmas Eve has started with the candle and a day of generally doing bits and pieces in preparation for tomorrow. Get the back house ready for Lou and  Gary, probably get the ham cooked later for our Christmas eve meal. Not quite the Christmas eve meal we had after midnights mass in Mam’s, back in the day, but a ‘tipping of the hat’ to a past tradition that we loved so much. Mass will be at 6.30 in Carrigaline Church, which will be packed to the rafters by 6pm (so much so that a Health & Safety guy would have a coronary if he saw so many people jammed in and obstructing the exits, I jest you not)  Screaming babys, families laughing and also people saying prayers for those not here this year. Fr.Bertie will check in with Santa to make sure he got away safely from my relatives in New Zealand, Australia and Singapore.

After mass a couple of pints in the Hotel with Lou, Jess and Gary and wishing everybody else a Happy Christmas. That’s Christmas for ya.

Home by 9.30 I hope!! and chill. I hope your day went well, goes well (thats the problem with a diary across time zones)

Happy Birthday Mary B and also Michael B who share the same birthdate and birth year. You share in one of the biggest birthday celebrations of the year, bummer or not.

One a final note, Christmas has become a time for family, starting way back when a family could not find room at an inn, and so we celebrate another year with our families around us or if that is not the case then very close to our hearts.

Have a beautiful Christmas this year. Enjoy the company of the human family that is around you today, family friends and even acquaintances. Use Skype as much as you can or want. Time to touch base again.

Good luck with the Christmas celebrations tomorrow (or now even, if you have started already)

Warmest wishes from the South of Ireland, actually from across all of this little island as we all send out or love, best wishes and encouragement to our relatives and friends across the space that divides us today.

“One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own.”
John O’Donoghue, Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong

What the hell, Car Alarms, never use them. I’m sure 99.999% of the time it only the wind set them off or someone bumps against your car, so never liked them.

5.45am (approx.) someones car alarm goes off, not the usual car alarm, but just a car horn permanently pressed, as if Santa himself is sitting on the bleeding thing. After 10 minutes this has not stirred it’s owner to turn the thing off. Must check if this is in our quiet cul-de-sac or coming in from further afield. Down the stairs and look out the window in the hope to see the tell-tale signs of flashing lights through the blackness to indicate the guilty party….Sweet lord God, the sudden realisation that it’s not a car alarm but my sweet old Carina in full voice. I know this cause I’m standing in bare feet (cold bare feet), in biblical rain and howling wind next to my ‘sweet innocent’ Carina and its ‘horn from hell’. What ensues is a book in itself but essentially ‘BLIND’ panic that ends after about 5 minutes with a series of attempts at adjustable spanners but is only resolved with trusty ‘wire cutters’. This was all carried out without the aid of that thingymajig that holds the car bonnet up as it has gone invisible so the said bonnet rests across my broad shoulders.

The car is quiet. (The ringing in my ears took a full hour to pass) I look around and not a light in any window but I guiltily know I’ve woken the dead.

Actually after some stern talking to myself I’m realise a couple of things …

1. It wasn’t the Carina’s fault but driving rain so mother nature has to take the wrap
2. People with tinnitus will get a special mention in my Christmas prayers
3. I cut way too many leads in my blind panic, must wait for daylight
4. After watching ‘Gravity’ last night, this was a very minor intrusion in Christmas and
5.  Hello Christmas Diary continued

Morning Y’all, after the tale above I’m back to Christmassy stuff, the trip to Limerick turned out really lovely. Dropped into the Lyon’s household and put the presents under the tree, quick chat and we are on the road again.

Met Kay at Mam’s house and wished her a very Happy Christmas, genuinely so. I never really get around to saying how important both of my big sisters are to me. But their ever presence in Limerick and their watchful and caring eyes on Mam give me (and I’m sure a lot more besides me) such peace of mind that it is very hard to express. I save my ‘Specialist’ prayers every night for Kay and Helena. Isn’t that the truth. Ye are really such special Big Sisters. May you have the best of Christmases and a lot more besides.

After wolfing down some Matterson Sausage sandwiches we take Mam off to St. Munchin’s Church for mass and joined by Joe Benn. A beautiful crib is on display on the alter and although it’s a cold place this morning (impossible to heat such huge old churches)  a warm Christmas feeling pervades the place. God St. Munchin’s is a parish of grandmothers and grandfathers, us children and our off-spring have flown the nest and won’t return for another day or so. This place will be filled to the rafters for the Christmas vigils. It is filled with thousands of memories, most of which are about uncontrollable fits of laughing as children and teenagers.

Home to Mam’s, heavy hail showers, let us know we are mid-winter but nothing a cup of Barry’s doesn’t fix instantly. Christmas hugs with the promise of a return visit very soon.

Back on the road to Cork again, Matterson sausages and Mack’s bread in the boot (Thank You so so much Mam). I’m delighted for A. Making the short trip, B. Such good driving weather and C.Having another Christmas, part of such a family.

Jess rested as we drove home, Galtee mountains showing the effect of the cold weather, not so much as snow but sleet capped.

Home to our warm house and the weather starts to worsen. I had forgotten it was due to get so bad again. It’s 8am now and there is a gale blowing outside but the peace of no ‘Car Horn’ is just beautiful.

Christmas Eve tomorrow morning.

Dec 22^nd. 2013, 7.30am

Morning all, The duck egg is on the boil (do you do your eggs in the kettle? or is it a quirky thing I just do)  Looks like I’ll make the dash to Limerick after all this morning but it did look very doubtful for most of yesterday as we are experiencing really rotten weather at the moment. Driving rain accompanied by very strong winds, a lot of it very wintery, sleet and snow, so a drive up to put the presents under the trees in Mam’s and the Lyons family was decidedly on dodgy ground. But as luck would have it we have a much calmer weather scene this morning, calm before the storm I understand, absolutely awful stuff later, tomorrow and Christmas eve forecast (damaging winds), so it’s up to say Happy Christmas, in Limerick in an hour or so.

Cork was beautiful and Christmassy yesterday, coffee and scone with rhubarb jam in the English Market. Got the Birthday / Christmas Card and other such stuff. Jess seemed to enjoy the buzz also. The weather went downhill for most of the rest of the day. As we escaped the city the crowds were starting to descend on the city.

Home for nice fry with some of the English Market sausages and smoked bacon (rest for the turkey). The final few decorations on the stairs and the gaff is as ready as it will ever be for Christmas

Afternoon was spent giving the garden room the once over as it was due for some attention. It had been my study room for the past months so it was a bit of a mess.

Listening in my ear to ‘What it says in the Papers’ I hear that Peter O’ Toole’s ashes will be spread on a beach in Connemara, close to where he had a house since the 1970’s. This I understand completely, into the sea on the West Coast of Ireland seems the perfect way to spend eternity, as opposed to a hole in the ground. Saw him once at a Rugby match and he was a frail man but a huge rugby fan. Good Luck Peter.

OK, into the shower, down the duck egg and a piece of toast and into the car to see Mam.(Pick up some Matterson’s sausages in Limerick) I hear Jess upstairs so I’ll have company on the drive.

Good day ahead please God, Talk Later

Dec 21^st. 2013 6.15am

Jasus, some bolt of thunder woke me, probably would have woken anyway as I was on my 6hrs sleep limit. Sometimes I’d like to get even a 30 minute extra sleep, alas , not going to happen at this stage in life so enjoy the good six I get.

The official onset of winter has begun as the winter solstice this year falls on December 21 thereby making it the shortest day and the longest night of the year in the northern hemisphere.

On a solstice the sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator. The solstice happens when the sun reaches a point where it will appear to shine farthest to the south of the equator, over the Tropic of Capricorn.

The reason behind the occurrence of winter solstice is that the Earth does not spin upright, but on an axis 23.5 degrees from the vertical.

In the southern hemisphere, the winter solstice occurs on June 21 or 22 when the sun is placed in the farthest north.

Today is also the official start of the Christmas break for me but I’m wandering around the house at 6.30 am with major lightening going on outside (surprisingly little thunder at this point) and squally showers along with major gusts of wind equalling horizontal rain. Brrrr and I have to get to town this morning before the Christmas madness begins.

Just completed two nights out on the trot, too much to eat and drink (although I made a fairly early escape out of town last night to get my buddy Leon back to Carrigaline Court Hotel as he has a flight to catch, from Dublin, in the morning. In hindsight, Christmas can be such a time of massive indulgence and over consumption but the goodwill and friendliness of the Irish as a nation makes it a wonderful time of year. (for most of us)

So it’s still pitch dark here as I contemplate my early visit to Cork City for duck eggs, sausages, bacon (for the turkey and for my breakfast’s over the Christmas) and a nice Happy Christmas Birthday card for Mary Lyons who enjoys a Christmas Eve birthday. I think it’s a beautiful birthday time but most people groan when I mention that ‘Her, Indoors’ celebrates the birthday on Christmas eve.

Today also marks the start of my preparation for the Christmas Day feast. So stay out of my kitchen till St. Stephen’s day at least.

Yes Chef

Talk tomorrow on Day 2 of the Christmas Diary. Summer, the cat is meowing for attention.